Posted by Samara Collins on Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Under: Blog
Wow. It feels like I have hit new depths today. It is helping just to be at home and to let the feelings come and face it properly. It is really, really hard though. I am overwhelmed by how much I miss Sadie and want her here. I think this is OK and that I have to go through this stage, but its scary as for 8 weeks I have avoided letting go for fear that if I let myself feel the pain and sadness I won't be able to get a foothold and be OK again. I am starting to realise that gradually you have to let go and let the emotions come and that afterwards, although it takes a while, I find my normal levels again. I don't think we can avoid the grief any longer.
One of the hardest things is that I feel really isolated. So many people are fantastic and try to understand and give support but it hurts because its so hard for anyone to understand what its like. I know I never could have before it happened to us. It is intense. I guess thats why I write on here so much. It helps me to say how I feel to an extent. I can just say it and then forget it. I don't want pity or sympathy and I don't feel sorry for myself, I just want to say how it is and be understood a little.
In : Blog