Well I have nearly made it through my first birthday after losing Sadie.  It has hit me like a truck.  I could barely sleep last night feeling so sad and this morning I found fresh grief.  All I want for my Birthday is to hold Sadie in my arms. Even just for a minute.  That will never be possible and I miss her so badly, its a physical feeling.  I spent a long time in her nursery this morning just holding her things and eventually I felt a little better.

Mum and Dad came over and listened to me rant and mope - which is just all part of the grief, then they took me out for lunch and a walk and it felt good to just spend a nice relaxing day with them.  They are feeling it all too right now, as are my parents in law and sister in law.  Its good we can all support each other.

My friends have been wonderful and I have had lots of Birthday messages, cards and beautiful, thoughtful gifts.  I am a lucky girl to have such great people around me.  I also had friends visit yesterday and lovely dinner cooked for me last night - so I have been spoilt.

Little man in my belly has been very active today, which is lovely. Drew has gone out now for a takeaway and I'm looking forward to a cuddly relaxing evening.