Well it's 5.20pm and its fair to say the nerves are getting to Drew and me. Drew came home quite early from work as he just cannot concentrate now.  We are both hugely anxious and cannot help worrying about the baby being poorly in some way.  There are so many fears attached to that as we know now just how hard it is to have a child who is living with a disability, both from living through that with Sadie and from knowing parents and their children who are living with that reality.  We are scared for our baby boy and also for ourselves.  We have our eyes wide open to all that comes with having a child with a disability and we just hope and pray for his health. He is loved so very much and nothing will ever change that. 

The baby will be born by scheduled csection on Thursday morning so its only a matter of around 40 hours now, but it feels like it might as well be weeks.  We are beside ourselves. This baby has ben scanned so regularly and had great odds of good health at the nuchal screening and all subsequent scans have shown he is perfectly healthy.  He has been scanned twice by a top consultant.  We have every reason to be confident.  Sadie's condition was not caused by anything in our genes and we have no medical reason to be concerned.  Just our awareness scares us now.

We are so very excited too.  I cannot wait to hold this baby in my arms and be his mummy.  I love him so much and feel blessed to be expecting this baby.

I have my pre-op appointment tomorrow.  Then I intend to get a few bits done and rest as I am not sleeping at all now (hip pain and nerves).

If anyone reading this could pray or send positive thoughts our way on Thursday morning (probably around 9am) then we would be mega grateful!! Thanks x