I am feeling utterly exhausted at the moment! I seem to have had a pretty busy week last week.  It was great to see so many of my friends and have really had a nice week. 

Socialising appears to be very tiring at the moment.  It feels like we can get on and do some things and be OK and yet there are things that feel just too much, depending on how we are feeling and what the circumstances are.  I hope and deep down, I know that one day everything will become easier and we will be able to operate fully and enjoy life properly again.  That said, I know we are changed forever and we will always carry a sadness in our hearts.  Normailty has to take on a different form and we have to take some time to understand what normality is for us.

Some days I feel brave and can lock the emotions way down deep and probably appear fine, but sooner or later the emotions catch up and we have to take the time to deal with them and feel them.  Its hard because feeling the emotions is really painful, so it is very tiring, but if we block them it gets hard and we find ourselves having strange nightmares and feeling pretty unwell.  Its early days I guess and we're still learning.

Next week I intend to keep a very light schedule and relax a bit more - it makes me feel so lazy and guilty though!!

Drew and I are heading out for dinner tonight, which will be really nice I think, as we've not had much chance for romantic dinners recently.  I had best go and dig out something nice to wear and slap on some polyfilla - oh and make sure X Factor records!