Browsing Archive: October, 2010

29/10/10 - Emails

Posted by Samara Collins on Friday, October 29, 2010, In : Blog 
I just wanted to say how wonderful it is to be receving so many emails from other parents / parents to be who have been finding my sites useful.  I find it really encouraging to know that the sites are helpful to others as well as to myself.  Its always a risk being so open about such personal things but I find it very cathartic and I also wanted to put my experiences out there as I know I find it so helpful reading other peoples' blogs as it makes me feel less alone in my feelings.

I have had...
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27/10/10

Posted by Samara Collins on Wednesday, October 27, 2010, In : Blog 
Feeling OK today in general.  I got up fairly early and went for a swim, which is really soothing.  I tried to pluck up the courage to ask for my gym induction so that I can attend classes and use the gym, but I couldn't do it.  I'll definitely do it next time I'm there.

Its a short blog today as not much to report and I have to go and make a rissotto for Drew.  Heaven help him,
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26/10/10

Posted by Samara Collins on Tuesday, October 26, 2010, In : Blog 
I had a good appointment with my midwife today.  My health visitor had already spoken to the team of midwives about my anxiety and she completely understood and is arranging for a scan this week or next week.  There is no reason to believe anything is wrong and rationally, I know that as little man is kicking away lots and I am growing big and feeling well, plus the last few scans have looked good.  However, it is so very scary being pregnant again and any reassurances I can get, I will take....
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25/10/10

Posted by Samara Collins on Monday, October 25, 2010, In : Blog 
These recent days have been tough.  Drew and I try so hard and we go out and we can laugh and smile for a while and then we feel exhausted.  Sometimes it can really take it out of us for a couple of days.  We are being genuine when we go out and have a nice time but because it is so far from how we are feeling in out grief, I think it just takes a huge effort and lots of energy.

I have decided to hibernate a little.  I was worried if that was the right thing to do as I have avoided that until ...
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18/10/10

Posted by Samara Collins on Monday, October 18, 2010, In : Blog 
Well I'd be crazy to think the bad days wouldn't keep coming... I feel very low today.  Some days getting out of bed can be a struggle and today was one of those days.  The mundanity of simple tasks can feel so trivial and unimportant.  I started to clean the bathroom this morning and then thought - what's the point? Very unlike me!

I know that I will snap out of it, and having a cold and headache isn't helping, so I think I'll write today off and stay home, watch telly and drink tea.

I sometim...
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17/10/10

Posted by Samara Collins on Sunday, October 17, 2010, In : Blog 
Went to Loch Fyne last night.  Just Drew and me for dinner.  We actually had a really nice evening.  I think it helped that we kept it short and only stayed out for a couple of hours.  We felt quite brave and pleased with ourselves for doing it.  Its funny because, I thought it would be impossible to have good times and a good laugh ever again, but it isn't.  We do still have fun and we know that its important.  It doesn't stop us missing Sadie, but I know she wouldn't want us miserable - she...
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16/10/10

Posted by Samara Collins on Saturday, October 16, 2010, In : Blog 
I am feeling utterly exhausted at the moment! I seem to have had a pretty busy week last week.  It was great to see so many of my friends and have really had a nice week. 

Socialising appears to be very tiring at the moment.  It feels like we can get on and do some things and be OK and yet there are things that feel just too much, depending on how we are feeling and what the circumstances are.  I hope and deep down, I know that one day everything will become easier and we will be able to opera...
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13/10/10

Posted by Samara Collins on Wednesday, October 13, 2010, In : Blog 
So far today has been a good day... I went with my Dad to put Sadie's cross on her grave.  This is a temporary arrangement to mark her grave whilst we wait for her headstone to be made and carved.  It felt good to mark her grave properly.  I know lots of family and friends visit Sadie's grave and I find that very comforting.  She was a popular girl and known of widely, so I guess its not surprising.

I have been thinking a lot about my visit to Francis House yesterday.  There are so many staff ...
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12/10/10 Visit to Francis House

Posted by Samara Collins on Tuesday, October 12, 2010, In : Blog 
Well I was nervous about today as it was my first trip back to Francis House since Sadie's funeral.  I was worried I wouldfeel very emotional about being there as it is such a special place for us as it is where Sadie died.  We also have a ot of very lovely memories of stays at Francis House.

I have been feeling quite emotional recently.  I think that its the depression stage of the grief cycle, although bereavement counsellors say that it isn't a linear cycle.  However, people who know me wil...
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10/10/10 My 2nd Article for SOFT

Posted by Samara Collins on Sunday, October 10, 2010, In : Article 
Today, as I write this is exactly a month since Sadie died.  It is very painful still, no less so than the day she died.  The feelings have changed over the month and some days feel easier than others, but it remains intensely painful.  Drew and I just miss Sadie so badly.  It feels so empty to know there is no going back - she is gone forever.

Over this past month we've been surprised to find we have been able to do some normal things.  To the outside world, we probably appear fine. Everyone ...
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10/10/2010

Posted by Samara Collins on Sunday, October 10, 2010, In : Blog 
Its so hard to believe a month ago today we lost our precious Sadie.  Although I have a website all about Sadie (http://sadiecollins.yolasite.com/) I wanted to keep that purely about Sadie.  As I go through the process of grieving for Sadie, I really want touse this site as an outlet to talk about my experiences.  I find writing cathartic for one thing but also perhaps other parents and families may find this helpful - who knows?

I have written 2 articles for SOFT (Support Organisation for Fam...
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Below are 2 articles I have written for the SOFT Newlsetter.  SOFT is a charity Support Organisation for Families of Trisomy. 

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Article 2.docx Article 2.docx
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