Missed Sadie so much today.  I had thought today may not be so bad but when I sat for a moment on my own I realised how sad I felt and just could have curled up and spent the day crying.  Generally though, after a good cry I can get on with the rest of the day.  Drew had purposely kept the plans minimal so we just headed offfor a walk with Pat.  We had a lovely day, but I have had a heavier heart all day. I have wondered about my other bereaved parent friends  and hope their days have been peaceful.

It was funny because I realised today how poor my memory has become - both short and long term.  Many thing that happened prior to Sadie's arrival are a real blur and I am so forgetful on a daily basis.  I know many people report baby brain, but I do wonderif grief causes memory blocks.  I must look into this and see what other people find and if there is anything I can do as its becoming frustrating and also alarming.  Especially as some of my memories of Sadie are becoming poorer and that is just dreadful.  I will look into it further - if I can remember to do so!!

I received a lovely bunch of daffodils from the minister at our church today - he sent them via my mum-in-law.  I was really touched that he did that and sometimes its a small gesture like that which can really give you a boost!

Pat has really enjoyed his weekend -lots of fun with his grandparents and he had made a great card for me at nursery.  I have definitely counted my blessings today.